Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Thursday, February 13, 2014 well I am 7 days away from my first end of year paper. but before i talk about studies, i feel like typing all this. Today I met someone who lose her sight, someone blind. she was holding her dog, trusting her dog to give her direction to the bus stop. It took her awhile to realized the dog actually was distracted and lead her to the wrong way. I quickly came in and assist her to the right direction to her destination. had a small chat with her while waiting for her bus, she came to NP to work. Someone who lost her colours, her vision in life still have to earn a living. how many beggars we see in the road today, with all the physicals needs and chose to beg for a living instead. how many of us actually lost sight of what we have when we desperately fighting for what we want. Im not here to pour all this to lecture others, im feeling it all again. emphasizing that im turning 21 this september, how much have i gave back to both my parents who unconditionally poured me with their love and concern. I couldn't ask for more from god anymore. In certain aspect, I feel dejected that my life have missing pieces. But what about those who wake up every morning, open their eyes and still see nothing but darkness. I already have way lots of things compared to them. Seriously, i pray to god to give my family a better health, because losing anymore is gonna be a big blow for me. Im 20 days away from the trip, everyday there is still a part of me missing you, missing what we once had. everyday, i will look up to the birthday board you gave, reread it over and over again. everyday, certain stuffs, many place, lots of musics is throwing me back to where we once was. YES I STILL MISS YOU, AND I MISS YOU DEEPLY. it was my decision to walk out again, i wasn't force and i see that you are still good. I miss waking up calling you, I miss worrying about you. There is so much misses inside misses. But the fact that we are now here again, there is a reason. I know I just had to be hard against myself for this last time, because we are not meant to be... sincerely hoping the best for you, & Happy Valentine's Day :*) You will never be replaced, never be forgotten, NEVER. Friday, February 7, 2014 I dont know why am I feeling this all over again.. this feelings sucks big time seriously. i can't seem to talk normally with you. And of all time, why must i dream of you last night. every dream that i had with you is being so real, so real to what we are now too. A small part of me always wanting to get back to you, wanting to get back to the past where they was laughter, smiles. But sadly, a bigger part of me knows that there is no way back. No way back... Tuesday, February 4, 2014 sometimes i am really stuck with the past. we are no longer who we once were, there is no way we can head back either i know i have to move on, but its really so hurtful to know that this is the end. because deep inside me, i feel that this shouldnt be the way things end. Monday, January 27, 2014 It has been 28 days since the start of the new year. CNY coming but absolutely have no feel for it. gonna work and earn during the CNY. After CNY, it is just 2 weeks plus away from final major exam before i wrap up my year 1. can't wait to head China now, I wanna take the time to forget things I should. let go of stuffs I should. Getting to know some facts about last year, this time round it just add up to another regret. It just sucks, it really does.. |
But remember where they knock you down and fall
Is where you oughta stand up from. |